2020.

Who would’ve thought that this year would turn out like this. It’s already August, and I’ve been living the longest domestic life despite having a full time job.

I’m grateful that I’m one of those people who still have a full time job. Even enjoying a break in between before I start my next job. New challenge. New spirit. I’m also grateful that I’m pretty damn excited for my new beginning.

In this year, I learned so much about how important it is to be adaptable. A lot of what I had planned didn’t get through. A lot of plan revisions, some disappointments and reflections along the way.

But hey, life moves on. Time doesn’t stop. I’m still alive. I’m still breathing. I’m still healthy. I’m stronger. And I’m lucky to gain some helpful knowledge about navigating this complex thing called life.

The older I get, thankfully, the better I am with my self-awareness. Just a few years ago, I would probably worry sick about the things I could easily let go of today.

I watch more of what I eat to nourish my body, to make it work better for me, to avoid unnecessary hormonal problems that typically would ruin my mood. I exercise more, to also engineer the happy hormones. There are hacks I can do to reduce the chances of my brain working against me. I listed down the things I can do to put me in a good mood, to slow down, to breathe slower. Pick up a good book, put on some acoustic music to wind down after a long day. Or put on some house music in the morning to get my ass to go to the gym. I meditate daily, and observe my thoughts as a regular reminder that my thoughts don’t define who I am.

My consciousness is not my negative thoughts.

I realized that it is possible to sit and watch the mind buzzes, and not be heavily impacted by all the busy buzz.

I’m not entirely detached from the emotions caused by these thoughts, of course. But I strive to control the negative emotions better. And I think that is still a massive progress, given how I was just a few months ago.

I’m grateful for people who have crossed paths with me. Both the ones who managed to stay, and the ones who I had to let go. I believe they serve their roles in my life (as I probably serve mine in their lives), to shape me to what I am becoming.

I can say that I’m pretty content with where I am today.

Yes, life could be so much better without covid19. But more than that, getting a chance to be in touch with myself again, to feel connected with myself without the need to explain myself to people feels pretty damn good.

I don’t think I have mastered the happy life. Quite the opposite, I believe life will bring me heavier storms that I will probably have no idea how to handle yet. Although that is just the essence of life,…

a chance to grow.

Progress.

I’m just happy that I am ready for the next level of life. 😊

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Asmarandhany

INTJ. I think the best human invention is language. I'd always choose a nice dinner + wine + good convo than clubbing for a good night out.